Maryellen chose adoption for her son and chose his parents, Pauline and TJ. “Chicago Parent” ran a beautiful story of how everyone helped to shape a new, larger family. 

(60-minute Workshop Panel) This is a very rare opportunity to hear directly from birth moms — why they chose adoption for their babies, what they expected and what was on their hearts at the time. Learn whether & how they stayed involved in the child's upbringing, how they got support & care after placement, and how they feel now looking back on their decision.

From ‘Burden to Blessing.’

In the early years of college, my voice was stolen from me in a way I didn’t fully realize until later. Unable and unwilling to process the trauma in a healthy manner, I dove into my studies. As a musician, I hid in the practice room, preparing for multiple ensembles and voice lessons. I did my best to keep appearances. I was able to graduate with two degrees, cum laude in four years. Next up: grad school. As the practice & study routine that I’d become accustomed to was interrupted, the trauma of my past caught up to me. I started to experience flashbacks that affected my relationships and kept me up at night.

Of two things I am certain: 1) that my daughter loves me and 2) that I made the right choice. I am a birthfather and 24 years ago I chose to place my daughter, Belle, in open adoption.

When I think back about our pregnancy and Belle’s birth, it’s hard to pinpoint any singular moment in time when her birthmother and I decided that adoption was right for us. There was no “light-bulb” moment, no aligning of the stars. It’s complicated and it was hard for us and our families, but it was the right choice for Belle. I am 41 years old now and it still makes my heart race just think back about that time in my life.

The charity, faith and agony of 48 hours. The story of a Texas teenager’s unplanned pregnancy and the decision to give up her parental rights within a closed adoption process which unfolds within a hospital setting, hours after the child’s birth. With a last hour petition of the baby’s father made known through social media.

At the age of 24, I left the health department and felt like a huge failure for the second time in my life because I was again single and pregnant. When I was 19 years old, I became pregnant and married my child’s father because I thought it would be the best thing for my child to have two parents living together. That child, Noah, was born in 1996 and within the first year of his life, he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and epilepsy and then autism later on. His father and I had married for all the wrong reasons and the difficulty of parenting a child with special needs was more strain than our marriage could handle so we split up.

I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be a birthmother. I saw women placing their child on television and never once took the perspective of the woman who carried the child for nine months then placed their baby girl/boy into the hands of a hopeful couple. I like to think I am great at placing myself in other's shoes and taking perspective on situations, but I think the media had shaped me to think more about the adoptee and adoptive parents because no one really talks about birthmothers.

I chose adoption because I loved my daughter very much and I wanted her to have everything that I couldn’t provide for her. I was twenty-one when she was born. I had full family support. I could have raised her. But my daughter would not have had a father, and that was very important for me. She wouldn’t have had a two-parent home right from the beginning, and that was very important to me. I wanted her to have those things.

When I was 15 years old, I made some bad decisions and found myself pregnant. Before I became pregnant, I had already thought about what I would do if it happened. I didn’t want to have an abortion because I believe that life begins at conception, and I didn’t want to hurt my baby. Initially I didn’t even consider adoption because I felt that there was no way I was going to be able to live my life knowing my child was somewhere in the world without me. So the only choice, I assumed, was that I had to keep my child and do the best I could to raise him. 

... a first hand testimonial about a beautiful adoption, told lovingly and candidly by a birthmother, Tamra.